My Only Attempt at a Bike First Date

Today I’m bringing you the story of my bike first date with a girl whose name I have no idea what it was but she was a cute redhead. This was not as successful as the run-first date I did with Danielle two years later, also the girl turned out to be not that interesting either so it didn’t help. The experience was pretty lackluster despite having fairly good execution of what I had planned.

The basic premise of this date was me and the cute redhead would ride together down the East Side BeltLine all the way through Decatur to reach our final destination of Three Taverns Brewery. The laws were different about getting drinks at a brewery in 2014 and you used to buy the glass and get served a max of six-six ounce pours the entire time by using the tokens that accompanied the glass.

All the Atlanta breweries had a typical two hour window they were open for this. I fucking loved that shit because it was super convenient. It was a timed date and when they were closing down the place for the day they were providing you with a ready-made exit strategy to end the date instead of being in an awkward situation figuring out exactly when is the right time to create one for yourself. Of course if the date was going well you could just take the party on over to some place close by for either food or more drinks. It was a really good set-up and a big reason why I did this for tons of first dates when I used to drink, I had just never rode to any of them with my dates on bicycles but hey if you don’t give it a shot you’ll never know if it’s a success or a flop, right?

So when we arrived and walked up to the bar for my first beer I was greeted with an unwelcome surprise. The bartender happened to be the former girlfriend I dated for six months before this. Kinda awkward situation but the red-headed chick had no clue about any of it and I was not about to torpedo this date bringing this up. But for real man, the ex stared me down from her spot behind the bar the entire date so intently that if she just focused her eyesight a scooch more she probably burned holes in the back of my skull.


I had no idea this ex worked there when I concocted the plan for this date and this was a brewery that we never went to together while we were dating so I never saw it coming…she didn’t even live anywhere near Decatur. I would like to think I dodged a bullet though because the longer I was with her the more I found how emotionally crippled she was. As for red, my date for the day, well other than I remember details about what I had planned for this date nothing else about it even moved the needle to register anything important on the seismograph.

Quick pause, I remember why this bike date idea even brewed in my brain in the first place. This particular brewery offered a $4 discount to anyone who rode their bike to the brewery and I always have a knack for finding cheap dates.

Like I said the date wasn’t a particularly memorable one outside of my ex being the bartender. I don’t remember her name or any other details about her outside of being a cute redhead. Actually that’s a lie, I remember she rode some model of a Scott road bike that was made in 2004 and I distinctly remember her making it a point to keep saying she wanted this particular bike because she loved how much lighter its carbon frame was compared to her old aluminum framed road bike. Of course the only details I managed to retain six years later were about the bike and not her. We did stop at King of Pops on our way back and it happened to be my first time here. It wasn’t bad, I’d go back, but I didn’t feel like the place lived up to the hype build up I always heard about the joint.

Would I repeat this date? Well, circumstances aren’t the same. Brewery laws changed in like 2017 I think. However if I repeated a version of this I’d take the girl to the Silver Comet and rent the girl a bike in lieu of riding across town to a brewery in regular city traffic. At least on Comet bike date there’s a decent chance where you can both ride and have a conversation with each other and make out what she’s saying to you. I probably would save that for a non-first date option too. Figuring out all those details was kind of a pain in the ass. But to this date she’s the only red-head I ever went on a date with, so she’s got that going for her where she ended up today.

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